(RNS) — When former “Bachelor” contestant Madison Prewett Troutt announced this summer that she and her husband would be disciplining their daughter by spanking, many of the Christian influencer’s 1.8 million followers were shocked.
“There are consequences to our sin,” said Prewett Troutt on her “Stay True” podcast. “There are consequences to disobedience.”
But to Christian authors Marissa Franks Burt and Kelsey Kramer McGinnis, this admission made perfect sense — not because they agreed with spanking, but because since 2023, they’d been reading hundreds of Christian parenting resources. Their research suggests that in most evangelical Christian homes, corporal punishment is still the norm, despite widespread findings condemning the practice.
Spanking is just one feature of what Burt and Kramer McGinnis call the “Christian Parenting Empire,” an interconnected movement of evangelical authors and ministry leaders who’ve marketed their rigid parenting methods as God-endorsed. Citing the Bible, these leaders teach that instant obedience, corporal punishment, conformity and hierarchical family structures will guarantee faithful children.
But in their new book “The Myth of Good Christian Parenting: How False Promises Betrayed a Generation of Evangelical Families,” coming out Tuesday (Oct. 14), the authors argue these methods aren’t as biblical or as effective as their purveyors would have Christian parents believe. RNS spoke to Burt and Kramer McGinnis about the alluring nature of Christian parenting resources, why spanking isn’t a biblical response to sin and how these teachings have impacted families down the line. This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
What is the “myth” of good Christian parenting?
Burt: The word “myth” captures the way these prosperity gospel parenting promises pulled on the longings and aspirations of parents. Parenting experts often promised, if you do things the right way, the godly way, the “biblical” way, you can protect your child and secure desirable outcomes. They promise something that parents can’t control.
Kramer McGinnis: The big picture myth is, this is God’s way to parent, and from that come little myths about what will happen to children who aren’t raised this way, versus what will happen to these chosen ones who follow the correct path. That’s really enticing for parents who are nervous, or in a context of social panic.
Why do you use the word “empire” to describe the Christian parenting movement of the ’70s-’90s?
Kramer McGinnis: This is about more than a person publishing a book. James Dobson is the most obvious model — he wrote “Dare to Discipline” and several other books, but as he’s doing that, he is creating videos, a radio show, he’s going on television. He’s founding Focus on the Family in the late ’70s, and the distribution of media has this incredible geographic and ecumenical reach. He establishes himself as this trusted voice, and can push out other influencers, convincing Christian parents not to trust mainstream psychologists. It really is this empire, coming in and pushing other things out, and establishing itself as the authority.
Burt: And it was incredibly lucrative. For many who followed the pattern set by Dobson, like Doug Wilson or Vision Forum, the parenting teachings led to smaller ministry empires. It became a one-stop shop for many families. Once you trust a voice on how to raise your children, you trust them in several ways.
How did Christian parenting resources raise the stakes for parents?
Kramer McGinnis: Starting in the 1970s you see James Dobson positioning parenting as a political project. He says raising good children will result in good citizens that respect authority. Later, Dobson and others raise the stakes even higher. This has not only to do with social order, it has to do with the well-being of your children’s souls. When you teach them to obey authority, you are teaching them to obey God.
Burt: Claiming something as biblical is claiming that it’s timeless and applicable for everyone, for all time. The authors and speakers in this genre claim you can extrapolate these timeless rules that will get you the results you want. New converts or overwhelmed new parents became particularly vulnerable to this. It displaces parental intuition, parental experience and an opportunity for parents to turn to other sources.
What are some examples of how these Christian parenting methods overlooked children’s humanity?
Kramer McGinnis: Ken Ham, the apologist and founder of Answers in Genesis, has a book called “Raising Godly Children in an Ungodly World.” He sees children as machines to be programmed, or pets to be trained. His idea is that if parents can force their will on their children as long as possible, they can program this worldview into them, and that’s the best way to raise godly children. James Dobson draws on this same idea. If you program your child before they can start making more informed decisions, that programming will stick. That glosses over the humanity and individual temperament, experience and will of a child, as well as the potential that they might have their own encounter with God. Any access that a child has to God is going to be mediated and interpreted by a parent.
What’s the connection between penal substitutionary atonement and spanking, and why, in your view, does this theological framework fall short?
Burt: Penal substitutionary atonement is one of many different atonement theories. It describes sin as separating people from a holy God who demands just recompense, and Jesus became the substitute that took that punishment on our behalf so we can be reconciled to God. In these parenting resources, this will be used to justify why spanking is godly. If that’s how God deals with sin and with his children, then that’s what we need to do. The idea is that misbehavior requires painful punishment, not just to deter the child from behaving that way again, but to somehow bring about reconciliation. But if this is a theological framework someone holds to, why wasn’t what Jesus did on the cross sufficient for children? Why do they still need to atone via spanking? It’s this theological mishmash that suggests spanking will help children understand their need for the gospel. But adults who hold to that framework don’t anticipate themselves being spanked. There’s so much freedom for the Christian parent. You are not required to spank, biblically speaking.
You write toward the end of the book that Christian parents often expect to be judged by their intentions, rather than their actions. Can you unpack that?
Kramer McGinnis: Some parents have a real unwillingness to reexamine the advice they were using because they believed it was biblical. They want to hold on to that belief that they were being obedient, and want to be judged according to their willingness to obey God. Obedience was the ultimate goal for their children and for parents.
Marissa: These promises betrayed entire families. Many parents were doing the best they could with the tools they had. But it does not erase the impact. There are very real consequences of bad parenting advice, and children bore the brunt of it. There’s also relational damage for both parents and children, and it can be incredibly difficult to realize that despite your best intentions, you hurt, maybe even abused the people most dear to you. If you have been training yourself all along to see your child as a project, to expect compliance, you don’t know how to respond when a child reclaims their autonomy. We heard from people who experienced very painful estrangement or inauthentic connection down the road.
How have today’s influencers taken up the Christian parenting mantle?
Kramer McGinnis: Dobson is the proto-parenting influencer, someone who uses their lifestyle and persona to sell something. Dobson was doing this pre- social media, but his communication style was a major part of selling this message. While Christian parenting books and resources are still circulating, millennial and Gen Z parents are probably encountering the most parenting advice on social media. These books continue laundered through influencer culture.
Using corporal punishment is still the operating wisdom in the Christian influencer circuit. It never left. And influencers don’t have to cite a source or write a book. They can just say it, and millions of people will see it.
Burt: And it’s unfortunate, because at this point, it’s not theoretical. We have generations who say, this is the fruit of it. We have good research that says spanking is not effective. I wish for the new generation that is drawn by these same old myths that social media becomes an opportunity for them to hear from others. We have adult children and parents alike saying, the promises didn’t hold.
